Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Drowning: My Journey Through Depression - Part 6

Welcome!  I am glad you are here!  I am sharing a series about my experience with depression and anxiety.  Feel free to catch up with the first five parts of the series:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

As I began preparing for my trip to Susan's, I thought it would be helpful if I started writing down all of the things that I wanted to spend some extra time praying over.  My memory hadn't been the best in the past months, and I wanted to make the most of my time in North Carolina.

As my list began to take shape, a feeling of dread overcame my heart.  When the list came together as a whole, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  And I was ashamed.  My notes had become a list of Satan's STRONGHOLDS!  (A stronghold is something that claims to have more power over you than God.  It is something that grips your mind so fiercely that you are unable to control your thinking.)

I had written down things that had been bothering me for years, things that I had struggled with and wanted to pray about.  But when those things were written down in front of me.....they were all ways that Satan had been toying with me, the ways he had deceived me, the ways he had twisted my emotions...even ways that I had been physically afflicted!  I was ashamed (probably Satan's accusation right there!) that as a Christian woman, I had not recognized any of these things.  Over the course of several days I wracked my brain trying to figure out how this had happened to me!

It finally occurred to me that every time a new symptom of depression or anxiety arose, my doctors and I both would just pile it up on the heaping list of ways that I was affected by this disease.  I never gave each symptom a mental or spiritual check.  I was simply drowning in all of it.


Now I want to stop right here and make something very clear.
Depression and anxiety are mental illnesses that need
treatment by doctors and counselors.
In no way, in the telling of my story, do I want you to think
that I do not hold the belief that this is a mental
illness issue.

But during this particular season of my bouts of depression, 
Satan piled on and made my life a living hell.  So not only was I 
battling mental illness, but I was also battling spiritual warfare.

If you are feeling the symptoms of depression,
PLEASE see a doctor so that you can be helped!
It makes all the difference in the world!!


Satan had drug me down so deep that I had lost my joy in living.  He had destroyed my peace, joy, happiness, contentment, and enthusiasm for life.  I was just living in a shell.

I began reading ferociously so that I could straighten out my mind and be reminded of all of the ways that Satan works to destroy our lives.  Several books titles that were immensely helpful to me:
  • When The Enemy Strikes, Charles Stanley
  • Breaking Free, Beth Moore
  • Ferverent, Priscilla Schrier
  • Girls With Swords, Lisa Bevere
I also decided I needed a visual reminder that I carried spiritual weapons with me everyday, through the gifts of Christ Jesus.  So I bought this:

Yep, a plastic sword.
Then I began writing scripture all over that thing!

And strangely, it gave me great comfort.  It was just what I needed to start turning my thoughts around and to start taking action against Satan.

It was time to start DROWNING out Satan from my mind and heart.  I carried that sword around my house while I prayed out loud and told Satan to take a hike.  I commanded him to leave my mind, to leave my home and to leave my family.

Then I was ready.

I was ready for my time away at Susan's to concentrate on some sweet time with the Lord.

Join me next week for Part 7 of the series as we travel to North Carolina to Susan's house!


  1. LOVE THAT SWORD. Girls with Swords are a danger to Satan. Yes, Lord.

  2. Love the Sword of the Spirit--God's own dear Words that He gives us to speak truth! And I love how He showed up and gave you specific verses to cling to.

  3. I know that pull of depression too. I deal with it on a daily basis. I love your sword of truth. Thanks for bravery in sharing your story. I would love for you to join as the #LMMLinkup and share your posts each week: