"One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek;
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord."
As I have continued reading through Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, she speaks directly into me. She has brought words that I have never been able to put together to describe the soul feeling deep within myself, this Beauty that I chase with my camera, this God Beauty. And I finally discover that it is not the beauty that I seek, but the beauty Maker. I seek to capture the very face and hands that have made not just the beauty that I see all around me, but made me as well.
Chapter 6 has stopped me in my tracks. I have to put the book down for days as I digest the meaning of the words before me. It finally all makes sense. This longing I have to capture the beauty. And not just the beauty, but the details, the fine, minute, tiny details that make each object magnificent beyond words. I have hungered for the Beauty, as I have hungered for my God, the Beauty Creator.
With Ann, I resonate with her analogy of a hunter: "A hunter trying to capture. And none of the shots are close enough, wide enough, radiant enough for the hunter. What is this that I feel sitting here, coursing through me relentless, hot, ardent? I have to seek God beauty."
Do you see it? Do you feel it? Hidden deep within all of us is the search, the need for God himself to be revealed. Again, words atop page 112 stop me, as I must re-read again. Years of longing finally defined for me, opening my eyes to the meaning behind the yearning:
"All beauty is only a reflection.
Any created thing of which I am amazed,
it is the glimpse of His face to which I bow down.
Do I have eyes to see it's Him and not the thing?....
...omnipresent God is Beauty who demands
and the sacrifice of a life,
for He owns it."
The photos here represent but a tiny percentage of all I've taken, trying to capture this God beauty. Hundreds of shots were taken of a single daisy, all in an attempt to capture every nuance, every details that raptures my mind. A mind that was not created to understand it all, but was created to appreciate it all.
So my journey of Eucharisteo, "giving thanks" continues. My understanding of the insatiable appetite to capture the Beauty finally revealed. And I rejoice and worship the Beauty Creator.